A Funeral Ceremony - A ceremony that celebrates Life

Imagine looking forward to going to a funeral, looking forward to the opportunity to really celebrate a person's life, even through your tears.

There are no set legal requirements or even procedures for a funeral ceremony; and anyone can conduct a funeral. Actually a funeral doesn't legally need to be held, it's simply a convention*.

For many of us, the main purpose of a funeral is for us, the person's family and friends, to say farewell in ways that enable us to honour the one who's died, let them go peacefully and respectfully and for us to move forward in our own lives. It can be a wonderful opportunity to review the person's life and ponder our own situation.

A funeral doesn't have to be unbearably sad; neither does it require a simple lightheartedness and superficiality. Certainly there will be tears because a death touches a very deep place within us. We automatically ponder not only this death but other deaths we've encountered and our own inevitable death.

Deep places are full of tears for some reason. A combination of tears and laughter is usually found in "satisfying" funerals. There will probably be a certain solemn flavour to a funeral yet it can also be uplifting and peaceful. It's important to include children in funerals because, typically, they simply accept death and have little of the emotional baggage we carry. They too want to say an ending farewell along with their family and friends.

A funeral ceremony works well when there's a welcome, introduction, some poetry, readings or songs. The main part will probably be words about the person who's died and the life they've lead; then words that are prayer-like, a blessing and good wishes and an ending, that is positive and honouring. It's possible to use symbols to highlight aspects of the person's life: like plants and flowers for a gardener, colourful decorations for an artist/craftsperson , even down to painting and decorating their coffin with aspects of their life.

Right: Example of a casket used to symbolise the life of a dear man who loved to cycle (hence his helmet) & recycle (hence the construction of his casket)

Candles work well at funerals because they put us in touch with the mysteries of life and the on-going nature of things. Many people make up a scrap-board of photos and paper clippings about the person's life and talk about the significance of the photos during the ceremony.

The more you can be involved in the funeral ceremony the more wonderful it will be even if there are lots of tears. It's even appropriate to talk through our tears. In this case, breathing slowly and deeply and holding someone else's hand will give us a way to be calm and centred.

Together we can really create a unique ceremony. The creativity is a wonderful part of our healing, our growth and the calming of emotions. A funeral can incorporate ways that family and friends can give anonymous and private last messages to the person who's died. A funeral can be at a beach, in a park, in a community hall, in a backyard, in a lounge room, at a place that's significant to the person who's died &/or to the ones who are grieving.

It's possible to book a particular venue with the local council (as you would for any organised event). A funeral can be on any day of the week or at any time of the day or night; maybe the body and the coffin will be there, and maybe not.

* Official paper work must be completed to say that the person has been medically certified dead (Death Certificate) and that the body has been buried or burnt/cremated. *

There's a book called "Facing Death and Finding Hope" and many similar ones that give us a positive spin to a sometimes unspoken subject - dying. Another book is "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche.

OTHER THOUGHTS ABOUT FUNERALS

It's a profound experience to organise and create a funeral for a friend or family member because it's a momentous event. Just organising the ceremony is like arranging a dinner party for 50 people with only 3 day's notice! Not a very easy task especially when you're grieving.

Yet it's a very worthwhile task, especially in that it can change your way of thinking especially around death and dying. By devoting attention to the funeral we are in fact respecting and honouring the person and their life.

Although painful, it can be done without hypocrisy, guilt or regret. Through your attention to the details of the funeral, it can be honest, relevant and satisfying in that you'll probably consider afterwards that it was more a farewell than a "funeral service" as we've come to know it.

OnEarth Australia manufactures environmentally friendly funeral caskets made from 100% recycled cardboard. The first Australian-made cardboard funeral casket tested and approved by internationally recognised testing authority 'TestSafe Australia'. The caskets have been tested to ensure structural integrity (up to 120kg) even after being in cold storage (30Celius) for up to 7 days.

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